SURBER • US — When 140 280 characters just aren't enough

What America needs


America is in need of a single term president. We need someone who will get into office and do all sorts of unpopular stuff, approval ratings be damned. We need someone who will put policies into effect that sacrifice the short term to help the long term. We need someone who is okay being the villain.

Most of the problems that affect the country (and most of which extend into affecting the entire world) right now are thirty years old or older, and fixing them will cause bad consequences in the short term, at the expense of a long term payoff. No one wants to do anything about any of them, because doing so will kill any chance of a re-election. No party will let their candidate do anything, because it would make the party unpopular.

We need a president who doesn’t have lots of money in the stock market, or have large shares in major corporations; someone who has nothing to lose in the short term. We also need someone who is young enough that they can look thirty years into the future and worry about it.

We need someone independent to take office, who is willing to not only end tax cuts, but to raise taxes; perhaps change the tax structure altogether. A federal sales tax, or a flat tax, would make tax law easier for the layman and tax everyone evenly. This would (temporarily) hurt the economy, because of the legions of people who earn most of their living from taxes (Jackson-Hewitt, H&R Block, IRS employees, CPAs, etc) but in the long term it would mean more money coming in, and less money going from government coffers into paychecks for desk jockeys.

Our environment is in a shambles, and the auto industry is a big part of it. We need to give them a real reason to make a good fuel-efficient vehicle. One idea: If a company can make a vehicle with 75mpg or whatever the lowest priced car on the market for over 180 days of a year, that company pays NO TAXES that year.

We need to repair our economy and job market. They have both gone to hell because it is cheaper to get goods from overseas than goods made in America. We can’t make American products much cheaper than China, because they have free labor, but we can impose tariffs that make Chinese goods more expensive. Companies like Walmart will be in a lot of trouble in the short term, but once we reopen American factories and give manufacturing jobs to American workers, there will be more money in the economy. In the long term we profit.

Incidentally, cutting down on imports would also make the country a little more secure: fewer cargo containers coming onto American shores means fewer places that a nuke could be smuggled in.

We need to invest more money in education and research, because a future filled with dim people is not a bright future. Money spent on education should be spent on education, not athletics. This should be where the majority of our country’s money should go; more money should be spent on education than the military.

We need to take any idea of religion out of education; go with what is shown to give results. Whether you believe in evolution or not, you will not find any creationists working at a pharmaceutical research lab. The only jobs that require you to be a creationist are religious, which may be profitable for the individual but do no good for the country.

The military should be at home unless they are needed. We do not need to send our troops to help protect dictators who do what we say, or help insurgents overthrow dictators who don’t. Doing that is how Saddam Hussein got his biological weapons, and how Osama bin Laden received his training from the CIA in the 80’s. Unless we are defending our own borders, there is no reason for our military to be in harm’s way.

The president who can do all this will not see his approval ratings get out of the teens, and will in his own time be seen as the worst president in the nation’s history. But, in twenty or thirty years, people will look back and realize that this was the president who saved our country.

“Because he’s the hero [America] deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we’ll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A Dark Knight.”